On the Subject of Growing Up
by M'rika
Summary: Series of snapshots looking at Remus and Tonks' relationship, starting in 1982 and ending , well...at the Battle of Hogwarts.
1. Chapter 1

An: Hi. this is a series of snapshots in the life of Tonks and Remus, starting from when she was 9 and ending…well, with her death. It will be in chronological order, and hopefully that makes sense. To all the RL/SB worshippers, I agree. Really, I do. But this came to me, and I had to write it. There's slash in there if you look hard enough and really want it. So, sit back, have fun. Enjoy.

1982– Spring

"Thanks for coming," Andromeda smiled at him, as she opened the door. He looked shabbier than ever, almost broken. She knew he was having difficulties getting a job - his condition saw to that - but she hadn't realised how bad it was.

He shrugged, only a glimmer of a smile on his face. "You offered food and money, how could I refuse?"

As she ushered him through the hall into the kitchen, she replied, "It used to be booze. One mention of the magic word alcohol and you'd come running."

"That was never me," he said quietly. "I came because they did." The pain on his face was heartbreaking, and Andromeda wished she'd never mentioned it.

"Her tutor's ill," she said brightly, trying to recover a lighter atmosphere. "And I've heard many stories about your excellent teaching techniques." Biting her lip, she realised she'd done it again. Yet another reference to the friends that were no longer around.

"Yes." Remus sighed. "But even then Peter still couldn't master defence against the..." He trailed off, as he recognised the irony in what he was saying.

"Remus!" A nine year old girl with black hair bounded into the room, hugging him tightly around the waist. "Are you teaching me today? Cause Mom said you were, but then Dad said you might not come.

Unable to supress a smile, Remus tousled her hair. "Yeah, you're stuck with me." He turned to Andromeda. "What did you want me to do with her?"

"Maths," Andromeda replied. "History I can do, same for French, and Ted's good at the biology, anatomy side of science, so science s pretty much covered. But neither of us is any good at explaining fractions or percentages to her."

Nymphadora pulled a face at the mention of fractions and tugged on Remus' hand. "If we're quiet, Mom won't know what we study," she whispered conspiratorially.

"Mom will know," Andromeda told her daughter with a smile. "Because moms know everything. But if you're good, and actually work without getting Remus off on tangents, I will let you have cake. "

Nymphadora grinned. "How much cake?"

"Oh, either an eighth of a cake, or maybe, if you're lucky, twenty-five percent," her mother teased, planting a kiss on her confused daughter's head. "Remus, do you want a cup of tea?"

"Yeah, that'd be great," he smiled, as Nymphadora took him by the hand and led him into the dining room. "One sugar, please."

When Andromeda brought the steaming mug through to him, Nymphadora's face was screwed up in concentration, as she divided a pile of apples into two halves. "Thanks," Remus said gratefully, as he took the mug from her.

"How's she doing?" Andromeda asked, watching as Nymphadora deliberated over whether the two piles she'd created were equal.

Remus nodded. "We'll make a mathematician of her yet."

"Is that like a pirate?" Nymphadora asked, looking up with a grin. "Like, Bluebeard the most feared mathematician that ever sailed the high seas?"

Andromeda stifled a laugh, as Remus nodded solemnly. "Yes. And the sworn enemies of the mathematicians were the grammarians."

Andromeda watched as Remus held his daughter rapt, as he created a world where mathematicians were pirates and grammarians were landlubbers and they were fighting a fierce war over an island called algebra. She left them to it, knowing that Remus would not only teach her daughter maths, but make it interesting so she would remember it.


	2. Chapter 2

An: So I'm hoping someone's reading this, but hey, I had fun writing it. Enjoy.

1987 - Summer

Currently sporting short turquoise hair, Nymphadora had the phone cord twisted round her fingers, leaving angry red welts. "I don't understand."

"You don't understand what?" Remus asked patiently. He'd long grown used to Dora phoning him in the holidays for help with essays that her parents couldn't help with. This meant it was usually Defence A6gainst the Dark Arts or Astronomy; thankfully, both subjects he had been good at in school.

"Why only those three?" Sat on the stairs, with her essay on her knees, Nymphadora frowned in frustration. "There are so many other hexes and curses that can cause loads of damage, so why only those three?"

"Well, the killing curse is an obvious one. It's the only curse that kills you outright. Others just cause harm until you die from blood loss or pain. Any spell could technically lead to death, but that's the only one that causes it immediately."

She scribbled down what he'd said, then waved at her father as he walked through the door. He went to greet her but she pointed at the telephone then her parchment and gestured at him to be quiet. "Well, what about Imperius?" she asked, then shrieked as her Dad put a cold hand on her cheek. "Dad!" she wailed, as he smiled at her.

"Tell Remus I said hello."

"Dad says hello," she told Remus dutifully, and then shooed her dad until he disappeared into the living room.

Remus chuckled. "How's everything at St Mungo's?"

Dora shrugged even though she knew he couldn't see her. "I don't know. Probably the same as always, filled with sick people. What about the Imperius curse?"

Remus laughed at her impatience. "Fine. Imperius takes away your right to choose. It's a basic human right, and it's overpowered by someone else. It's a horrible spell."

"Was it ever used on you?" she asked curiously.

"No." The answer was short, and there was a pause afterwards. "But I think your Mom was once."

"Really? That's so cool!" Nymphadora exclaimed, forgetting for a moment that it was an unforgivable curse they were talking about.

"Not really," Remus reminded. "They could have got her to do anything. Kill you, your Dad. anything."

"Oh." Suitably sobered, Nymphadora made a mental note to ask her mother about it later. "Okay. So what about crucio? There's lots of spells that cause pain, right? Mom said that most wizards knew spells that were just as bad, but weren't illegal."

"That's true," Remus said slowly, "but most wizards don't know them. It's only a handful. And they take longer to cast. Crucio is quick and easy."

"Okay." Her scrawl now covered most of the parchment and she sighed knowing she'd have to rewrite the whole essay. At least now with Remus' help, she had enough information to fill the required number of inches. "Thanks."

"No problem." She could hear the smile in his voice. "Tell your Mom I heard that Mrs Brink is retiring."

"Okay," she promised dully.

"And tell her thanks for the reference."

"I will." Nymphadora paused. "Remus?"

"Yes?"

"When are you coming round again? I haven't seen you in aaaages." She was twisting the phone cord around her fingers again, almost anxious as she waited for his reply.

"I don't know," he told her. "Anyway, you don't need to see me. You've got all your friends from school. And your mom tells me you're enamoured of a certain Thomas Spenser. Surely you'll be too busy mooning over him to even talk to me."

Shut up! I am not," she protested, feeling the colour in her cheeks flare.

Remus laughed. "I'll see if I can come over soon. If your parents will let me."

"They will," Nymphadora promised immediately. "You know they will. They love seeing you."

Remus nodded, glancing at the clock. "I've got to go. I'll see you soon."

She grinned. "'Kay. Bye."

As her Mom walked through the hall, Nymphadora began, "Remus says Mrs Brink's retiring, thankyou for the reference and can he come over soon?"

Andromeda raised an eyebrow. "Was that last one him or you?"  
>"Well, me, but he wants to come," her daughter said hopefully.<p>

"Yes, I don't see why not. We can invite Tom and Sarah at the same time," Andromeda replied, ruffling her daughter's hair. "Though you are not to tell little Micah that you coloured your hair with felt tip, do you hear me? It took Tom weeks to get the orange out last time."


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Thankyou to everyone who has put this on alert and/or favourite, and thanks to Tangerinefields for the reviews. They always make me smile.

1990 - Christmas

"But it's what I want to do!" she protested, hands flat on the table in frustration.

"Dora," Ted said gently, "I think your mother would take you more seriously if you didn't have a pig snout."

Nymphadora sighed, forgetting that she'd been demonstrating her skill again, making Remus smile, before her mother had brought up the same tired conversation. "Mom. It's an important job. Someone has to do it."  
>"I don't see why it has to be you," Andromeda said, placing mugs of tea and coffee on the table. "Remus, that one's yours."<p>

"Why not me?" her daughter demanded, standing up. "Who better? Half of my family is evil and the ones that aren't are the ones that the evil ones are trying to hurt, because they're non-magical."  
>"Dora." Her father's voice was calming, and she sat back down. "This isn't really the time to be discussing it, not with a guest here."<p>

"Mom brought it up," the seventeen year-old said churlishly, pouting and slumping in her seat.

"No, I think Remus is the perfect person to tell her why she shouldn't be an Auror," Andromeda said quietly.

Remus looked at her seriously. "You know I can't do that."

"Remus, please." Andromeda's voice was low as she took her seat again, avoiding a branch of the Christmas tree.

He sighed and turned to Nymphadora who was wearing a small smug smile. "James and Lily were aurors," he told her. At the mention of the Potters, two of the stars of many half remembered memories from her childhood, Dora's smile faded. "They fought against youknowwho, and it wasn't fun. They were hexed and cursed so many times I lost count of the times they'd show up at my door bleeding." He looked down at his hands before turning to Nymphadora. "But aurors do do an important job, and I'm not going to tell you not to do it. Just…know that it's not easy, and it's not fun. It's almost a certainty that you'll be hurt during duty, I mean, look at Mad-eye Moody. And there's a risk that you could be killed, even if there's never another war." He sighed and shook his head. "All it would take is one death eater to escape, especially a Lestrange, and you would be in huge danger just because of who you are. But that would be the case even if you weren't an auror." There was a silence and Ted took his wife's hand. "I'm not going to tell you not to do it," Remus said quietly, "because James and Lily loved every minute of it. Just remember the dangers."

Nymphadora threw her arms around him. "Thankyou," she murmured.

Andromeda looked away. That was not how she'd imagine this conversation going. She wanted her daughter to be safe, to be secure, and the life of an auror was neither of those things. No-one could escape from Azkaban, she knew that was true, but she lived in fear of her sister, her husband and his brother escaping. But now that Remus had told Dora that he wouldn't try and persuade her not to apply, there was no-one else Andromeda could ask to try and persuade Nymphadora not to apply. Her daughter would be an auror.


	4. Chapter 4

An: thankyou to everyone who's reviewed and favourite and alerted. And for Wolfgirl, you have an excellent point. I did know that, but for some reason I had a bit of a meltdown and wrote youknowwho. I hope it didn't detract from your enjoyment of the overall chapter. Also, I check on google translate and apparently, toujours Pur really is French. I always figured it was Latin. Anyways. Enjoy.

1995 - Summer

She wasn't meant to be in there, Sirius had suggested it wasn't a great idea. It was really odd to suddenly have him around, seeing him most days, after he'd disappeared from her life when she was eight. She remembered him in his early twenties, laughing, playing dress up with her, pretending to die when she glared at him. This man in his thirties was a stranger, and while she trying to get to know him, twelve years in Azkaban left some gaps too big to bridge. Of course, they were at least talking now, which is why she felt bad ignoring his suggestion that she didn't enter this room.

Toujours Pur. She knew what this meant, because he mom had taught her French. Always Pure. She couldn't imagine her mother growing up in a family who took it seriously. She couldn't imagine Sirius in a family like that either. She studied the faces of her long dead relatives, looking for features that she recognised.

She gently placed her hand on the burn mark that was situated between Bellatrix and Narcissa, wondering if her mother had been there when her image had been burned from the tree.

"Couldn't stay away?"

She jumped, whirling around to see Remus standing in the doorway. "You scared me."

"I noticed." He walked to stand by her side. "It's strange isn't it?"

She shook her head. "It makes me sad," she told him simply.

He nodded, pointing at the burn labelled Sirius. "He offered to do it himself."

"Really?"

Remus shrugged with a smile. "I don't know. That's what he said, but I'm not convinced. He always used to lie to make himself seem cooler."

Tonks laughed. "Yeah, that's the Sirius I remember." She paused and gestured at the name next to Sirius'. Regulus, followed by a birth and death date. "He came looking for Sirius, you know. After he ran away. Mom told me."

Remus nodded. "Doesn't surprise me, Regulus worshipped Sirius." He sighed. "I came up here to find you."

"Well, you found me," she grinned. "Let me guess, I broke something and Molly wants to yell at me."

He shook his head smiling. "No. We're going to get Harry."


	5. Chapter 5

1995 – Winter

She was laughing as she entered Grimmauld place. It wasn't often that laughter echoed round that house, and it would have been a welcome sound if she hadn't woken up Mrs Black. As Remus hurried to shut the portrait, he flashed a grin at Tonks. "Something funny?"

When he'd got the woman under control and they'd moved into the kitchen which was empty for once, she offered him a sheepish smile. "Sorry. I forgot about the old bag."

He laughed, pouring her a mug of tea. "Yeah, it might be an idea to try and remember next time," he smiled, as he placed the mug into her hands. There was a pause before he asked, "Are you alright?"

She blushed. "Yeah, sorry." She'd suddenly noticed how handsome he was when he smiled. Which was odd. Because it was just Remus. She'd known him forever, he'd even tutored her at one point, and helped her with essays. How on earth had she never noticed how his eyes lit up when he laughed. Or how the early smattering of grey in his hair just highlighted his features, rather than making him look old.

"Are you sure?" he asked, crossing so he was standing in front of her. "You're staring into space."

"Sorry." She shook her head. What was she thinking? It was just Remus. Who was arching his eyebrow in the most devastating way. "Miles away."


	6. Chapter 6

1996 – Summer

She'd seen his face when Sirius had fallen through the veil. She'd heard his cry as he lost his best friend all over again. She watched him wander aimlessly around Grimmauld Place. And she knew it was all her fault. If she'd killed Lestrange, then this wouldn't have happened. And it was never her aunt, or Bella, as her mother infrequently referred to her as. It was always Lestrange. It was easier to hex someone if you didn't think of them as family.

Every time she saw him she just wanted to take him in her arms and hold him until the pain went away. But it wasn't until she found him sitting alone in Sirius' old room that she could bring herself to do anything.

"Remus," she murmured, standing in the doorway.

He was sitting on the bed. He slowly looked up and tried to smile. "Hey."

She walked over and sat down next to him. "It's the middle of the night," she said quietly. "You need to sleep."

He shrugged helplessly, and then showed her the photograph he was holding. It showed two young men, one gazing at the camera lens seriously, the other laughing and pulling a face. "He's gone," he whispered, silent tears winding their way down his cheeks. "Again. I don't- I can't…"

She hugged him tightly, gently stroking his hair. "It's going to be okay, Remus. I promise."

She held him till he was all cried out and was running his hands through his hair with embarrassment. "I'm sorry," he murmured, avoiding her eyes. "I shouldn't have…"

"It's okay," she told him quietly. "You're allowed to hurt."


	7. Chapter 7

1996 – Winter

It was coming up to Christmas and the house was all but empty. With the children still at school, Fred and George at their shop, and Mrs Weasley fussing over Arthur in the hospital, it left Remus and Tonks all alone. All alone with a bottle of firewhiskey.

"Wiggle those hips," she teased, as Remus failed to dance in time to the music emitting from the radio. He flushed, stopping dancing altogether. "No, don't stop," she encouraged. "It's really funny."

He rolled his eyes. "I don't see you dancing Tonks."

"That would be because I can't," she told him, reaching for the half empty bottle of firewhiskey. "I break things."

"C'mon." He held out a hand, and because she'd drunk too much, she found herself standing up and walking towards him. As they swayed, she giggled. "What?" he asked.

"You. Me. Us." She giggled again. "I mean, you used to help me with defence against the dark arts essays. You teased me about boys."

"So?" He didn't understand her point.

"Well, now you're drinking with me," she said with an easy grin. "And dancing with me."

"You're an adult now," he reminded her, his face still bearing the traces of his earlier blush, though whether it was due to heat or alcohol she wasn't sure. "I couldn't have gotten drunk with you when you were eleven, could I? I'm pretty sure it's against the law."

Their swaying had slowed to almost a standstill, and she wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or the fact that she was pretty much head over heels in love with him, but she kissed him. And it was sweet and gentle and over far too quickly.

"What're you doing?"

"I'm adult," she told him, "like you said."

"No, Tonks, we can't." He disentangled himself from her arms and backed away. "I'm so much older than you."

"So?" she asked, confusion flooding her brain. Had she read this situation all wrong? She'd thought he liked her too.

"Tonk, I used to tutor you," he protested, a note of disgust in his voice. "You were this little kid, and oh god." He was stumbling towards the door, bumping into furniture, avoiding looking at her. "We-This can't happen. Not ever."

"Remus," she implored, but he was gone, running by the sounds of it, out of the front door. She sat down and reached for the firewhiskey again.


	8. Chapter 8

1997 – Spring

"I should be going." As soon as she walked in the room, Remus stood up, busying himself by picking up various papers.

"Sit down." Her voice was quiet but the force behind it made him do as she said.

"Tonks, I really-"

"Shut up." Recently, her hair was mousy brown for the first time in years, and she'd been wandering round as though she was going to burst into tears. She crossed the room so she was standing in front of him. "Just shut up."

"Molly will be –"

"Remus!" she insisted, hands on her hips, looking the spitting image of her mother. "Just stop talking." The volume of her voice had increased and she was on the verge of shouting. He looked down at his hands and waited, realising that the conversation he had been avoiding for the last few months was staring him in the face. "Why won't you talk at me?"

"I…we…you kissed me." The juvenile statement burst from him as though he couldn't stop it.

"I remember," she said. "I was there. But since when did kissing lead to an awkward lengthy silence? I mean, yes, in third year, but I'm twenty-two!"

"And I'm thirty six," Remus replied. "I don't, I didn't, I don't want you to…to…"

"To what?" she demanded, towering above him.

"To want me, to love me." He felt like a fool saying it, but it was true. Somehow, he'd thought if he ignored her, didn't look at her, didn't speak to her, she wouldn't think of him, or care for him. Clearly he was wrong.

"I was in love with you when I kissed you," she told him furiously, as he flushed at her declaration. "I don't care that you're thirty six." She shrugged. "Besides, you know Mom's side of the family has some really weird age differences."

"It's thirteen years!" he spluttered. "And it's not just my age. I've no money, how would I look after you?"

"Oh Remus." She softened slightly. "Haven't you heard of equality? It means women are actually allowed jobs now."

"Tonks," he said seriously, changing tactic yet again. "I'm a werewolf. Don't you get what that means?"

"That you're a bit grumpy once a month?" she asked with a smile, sitting down next to him on the sofa.

"It means that once a month I kill people," he told her. "It means I can't a job. It means that if I ever had children they could inherit it."  
>"God, could you imagine a Metamorphmagus werewolf?" she asked grinning.<p>

"Dora. Please." He stood up and paced the length of the room, as she watched him. "You're beautiful and funny and smart, but there's no way we can ever be together."

"But you do like me?" she asked, bypassing the second part of his last sentence.

"Yes." He sounded weary and his eyes were filled with sadness. "But there are too many obstacles. My age, my condition, my poverty."

"But if we don't care, does it matter?" she asked softly, walking over to him and laying a hand on his shoulder.

"I do care though," he told her quietly. "I can't let you waste your life on a loser like me." Before she could reply, he'd walked out of the door, and she couldn't bring herself to follow him.


	9. Chapter 9

1997 – Summer

"I'm sorry."

She was sitting on the swing that stood in her parent's garden on a glorious July afternoon, sunglasses pushed up on her head, keeping her hair out of her eyes. It was still the mousy brown that was the same as her mother's, although Andromeda's was beginning to turn grey. "Huh?"

Remus was kneeling in front of her, his hair a mess, a new scar prominent on his face. "I said, I'm sorry."

"For what?" She didn't understand what he was doing there. They were meant to be going to Dumbeldore's funeral the next day, but he hadn't spoken to her since the night Bill had been attacked.

"I've been an idiot," he whispered. "Molly was right. I've been stupid and I'm sorry."

She stared at him uncomprehendingly. "So what are you saying?"

"This." He reached up and kissed her. Softly, gently, amazingly. When he pulled away, she looked at him shock. He tentatively offered her a smile. Then he yelped as she threw herself at him and he ended up on his back in the Tonks' garden, being covered in kisses by Dora.


	10. Chapter 10

1997 – Autumn

Their wedding was small and unpublicised. Firstly, there was the fact that a werewolf was getting married; secondly, there was a war on; and thirdly, she didn't care who was there or what she wore, because she was marrying the man she was in love with.

They didn't have a honeymoon, or at least they didn't go away. They hid away in the flat they'd somehow managed to scrape enough money together for, discovering each other. It was on the outskirts of London and one night she found him staring at the city's skyline.

"Are you okay?" she asked him quietly, circling his waist with her right arm.

He nodded, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "Yes."

"Really?"

He dropped an almost absentminded kiss on her hair. "Dora, I am so happy with you. But we're in a war. And you're an auror. What if tomorrow is the day Bellatrix catches up with you?"

She squeezed him tightly. "Lestrange is never going to get me," she told him. "I still owe her for Sirius."

"What about Rookwood? Or Dolohov? Or Malfoy?"

She smiled slightly. "Malfoy? He wouldn't want to mess up his hair."

He turned, pulling her to him and holding her tightly. "I love you," he murmured to her hair.

"I love you too."


	11. Chapter 11

1998 – Spring

Learning of her father's death had hit her hard. The fact of the matter was he was her Dad, the one who called her Dora, the one who bought her ice-cream when she was upset, the one who'd made her proud to live in a muggle town. And now he was gone. All the times that they'd argued were all she could think about. Remus had held her close, letting her stain his clean shirts with her tears. Every time she saw the cot or a teddy bear she welled up, thinking of her child who would never know his grandfather.

When, in April, she finally gave birth, there was only one name she really considered, and Remus agreed with her. Ted, after her father. Cradling the tiny baby, she watched as his hair faded from black to ginger, wondering if her mother had done exactly the same when she had been born. When the boy's hair morphed to blonde, she held him close, vowing that he would know of his grandfather. That she would tell him all about the man who had defied powerful wizards to secure his and his wife's happiness. That Teddy Lupin would be proud of the grandfather he never met.


	12. Chapter 12

1998 – Summer

Remus had kissed her, promising to return. She knew that while he would do his best, that there was a strong possibility that she would never see him again. And that terrified her. She paced around her mother's living room, as Andromeda amused her grandson with bubbles emerging from the tip of her wand.

"Dora." Andromeda's voice was soft, as she used the nickname that her husband had coined years ago. "Go."

Tonks looked at her mother with wide eyes. "But…"

Andromeda shrugged helplessly. "If Remus doesn't come back, you'll hate yourself for not being there." She stood, hoisting Teddy onto her hip. "I may hate the fact that you're an auror, but this is what you're trained for."

Tonks threw her arms around her mom, hugging her tightly. "Thankyou," she whispered. She took her son from her mother's arms and held him close. "Teddy," she murmured to him, as he looked at her wide-eyed. "Mommy loves you so much." She pressed a kiss on his forehead, before handing back to Andromeda. "Be good for grandma."

"Be careful," Andromeda said imploringly as her daughter walked to the door.

Tonks turned and flashed her mother an easy grin. "When am I anything but?"


End file.
